the people at the toast takes down eleven plants~~~
No woman, I can assure you, has ever happily received a carnation as either a corsage or as part of a bouquet. It has confirmed for her every doubt she ever had about you. �A carnation,� she says brightly, while in her head she has already left you for another. I will not insult you by going into details. If you cannot immediately guess why carnations are unbearable, there is no hope for you.
~~~Thick and glossy and malicious; this is a parody of a plant. It looks like it�s so thick it would not catch on fire if you struck it with a match. Why is it so sticky-shiny? Why do the fronds cluster together so? Why does it collect dust? What lurks within its vegetative heart? Why do the fans look like Peter Pan hats? No, this must not be.
~~~Perhaps the worst tendency of any tree is the palm tree�s inability to simply shed its fronds in a normal fashion; instead the bottom layer withers and frays into a brown corpse, then sags lower and lower to the ground until the trunk itself is nearly obscured from view, like Miss Havisham wrapped in her ancient wedding ground, in a mockery of fertility, of growth, of life itself.
Best of the Transparent Hummingbird