Three unscientific conversations on scientific subjects

Me: Look, the professor gave us all a piece of DNA (from a cow)!
Father: And what are you going to do when you’ve got a bit of DNA like that? Does it tell you who you are?
Me: No, I think it tells the cow who it she is.

Father: So this talk you went to at the Medical school, was it interesting?
Me: Well, he went rather fast and I didn’t understand a lot of it. That is why I’ve got this enormous textbook to teach myself!
Father [skeptically]: Are you sure you’re going to understand that book?
Me: Thank you. I see this family practises affirmative parenting!

Julian: So remember that study about implanting false memories in mice? They’re just done another version of it.
Me: Huh, I think it is unnecessarily nasty for the mice.
Julian: No it’s not.
Me: Of course it is! It seems to me the experiment could have been done exactly the same way and got the same results, but you could have implanted a nice memory not a scary one!
Julian: Aha! But that’s exactly what they did do! They gave these mice nice memories!
Me: What kind of nice memory? What do mice dream of, by the way? Varieties of cheese? Do androids dream of electric sheep?
Julian: They gave them memories of female mice!
Me: Oh. What if they are gay mice?