August 7, 2020

“i would like to write you the kind of words that burn the paper they are written on — but words like that have a way of being not only unforgettable but unforgivable.”

i keep thinking about that these days, how i used to write letters like that myself, and how i feel like harriet these days, overwhelmed and badgered and frightened to have invited too much, but also sorry for the other, realising how the receiver is not nearly so afraid as the sender, plunged into uneasy surmise as soon as they hit send, terrified of the other’s response or granite silence.

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supcallbar i wobbled slightly over the oath (s comforted me that all the best people do it — even the american president had fumbled his before) — but the

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sweetnessdunn sweetness Often a sweetness comes as if on loan, stays just long enough to make sense of what it means to be alive, then returns to its dark