April 9, 2020

julian and minz design stress tests

i.

j: i have to go to ikea to buy a foldable table
me: whatever for?
j: for my experiment. i need to find ways to make my subjects stressed…
me: oh! and does the table collapse unexpectedly?
j: no!! it’s just to put the bucket of ice water on for them to stick their hand in.
me: what, can’t you just use any old table you’ve got then?
j: it has to be the right height for their arm to hang comfortably
me: you couldn’t just prop it up with some books?
j: excuse me, i am running a proper lab here.

ii.

me: ok let me tell you, i am so much better at designing stress tests than you are.
j: oh yes?
[minz pulls off hair rubberband and shakes out hair]
me: i went to the hairdresser yesterday. did you notice what’s different about my hair?
j [panicked, henpecked voice]: er…. it…. is…. shorter? no! no! flatter! er, i don’t know! what? what have i missed now?!
me: see?

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