An American learns Singlish #1:

S: So we have to pooche it!
M: I don’t know what you mean by pooche.
S: Isn’t that the thing you explained about putting tissue paper on the table?
M: Chope! Chope!
S: Hey but at least I knew there was a Ch and a P sound in there!

An American learns Singlish #2

S: We punggol today lah.
M: We already went to Punggol on Monday, you want to go again?!
S: What, we can only punggol once?!!
M: Wait wait, what do you mean by, we Punggol?
S: Isn’t that “go on a date”?
M: OMG no, that’s we paktor!
S: Oh! Well they both start with a P! I get them mixed up!

An American learns Singlish #3

S: If we wrote our own wedding vows I can say, ‘I chope this woman lah! Shiok!’
M: Oh god, please DO NOT let any Singaporean hear you say that.
Nitpicker: I think that would have to be ‘I chope this woman hor. Lah sounds a bit off here. ’
[M: explain difference between ‘hor’ and ‘lah’, hor being a particle that asks for assent or consensus]
S: But I’m not asking for anyone’s permission!
Nitpicker: Or maybe, ‘This one mine okay?’
S: No ‘okay?’ This one mine!
Nitpicker 2: Actually, ‘chope’ would be for getting engaged right?
M: Yes, cos if you’re getting married, there’s no need to chope.
Nitpicker 2: Like, don’t need to leave tissue paper, just sit.
S: …
M: Sorry Singlish is hard lor.