this morning i traipse downstairs to find the mother frowning at the refrigerator. these ice-cream tubs {shakes head} are taking up all the space, but i want to put {gesture} these other things inside. i pick up a spoon (the solution leaping to mind) and say to her: i hear and obey, o mother mine!

purposive interpretation of the mother’s remarks led me to inspect the fridge further with a view to Eating Obstructive Things Within (I am nothing if not helpful and considerate.). to my astonishment, i find a massive box of belgian chocolate cookies at eye-level. when queried the father admits shyly that the cookies were his, and that they were a gift from his dentist. all my suspicions immediately came to the fore, although the father appears to regard this as no more than professional endorsement of the fine state of his teeth. (me: but you’re a senior citizen! your teeth are elderly and in all likelihood will crumble to dust upon the slightest biscuity resistance! wouldn’t you prefer my fellow classmates to relieve you of this terrible confectionery burden? my TG is composed of 14 valiant law students who upon a word will enthusiastically defend you from this dental peril!)

( history records that the father does not succumb to my transparent fearmongering. how he got these biscuits in the first place is quite another matter. it turns out that many moons of yore the dentist had said to him that it was difficult to get away for lunch with his packed patient schedule. since then, whenever he has a dental appointment that cuts across the lunch hour, the father totes a box of soon kuehs to the clinic for the dentist and his staff. there is something sweet but subtly wrongheaded about this. why soon kueh anyway? do you know if he even likes soon kueh? you don’t? then wouldn’t it be fair to say, mr heng, (i cross-examined) that you may be doing a disservice to this man, cluttering up his pantry with perishables and creating unnecessary social obligations upon him, who seeks nothing more than to repair your teeth and send you on your way? for it is clear that you have created obligations on him hence the return gift of this box of wholly insalubrious (to you) chocolates!)

(and answer came there none.)