Best of the Transparent Hummingbird
a man wants his marriage annulled because his wife was pregnant by another man at the time they were married he found this out later through a dna test they’ve only been married for 2.5 years and the law is on his side — in fact this is a textbook classic of when you can get an annulment he’ll get the annullment but what comes after is tricky he wants is for her to be gone and with the child
but this was a v interesing case because they don’t have their own home, they live with his parents and have done since marriage his parents own the house, so it is not up to him to evict her and here is what is interesting his parents don’t want her gone at all they like their daughter in law very much, they think she’s been a great daughter in law, and they love the little girl, the grandchild. they know it’s not their biological grandchild, but they don’t mind — no different than if she were an adopted child
this is the first time i’ve seen in-laws come to court to support their daughter in law not their son and they are in fact opposed to hte divorce/annument in the first place the divorce part — of course that’s not for them to say — the marriage is not theirs — he’s entitled to get a divorce or annulment - and in his place most men would feel v put upon and aggrieved — he was deceived, they were married under false pretences, and he’s been maintaining another man’s child, he feels betrayed and only he should decide whetherhe wants a divorce and he does
but this is a v difficult position he doesn’t want to live under the same roof as her it should be her who moves out not him not only because she’s at fault but it’s his parents’ house of course as the son he expects to live with them
but if the parents refuse to throw her out then what options does he have — he can move out himself, which would be frustrating he was the one who was ‘wronged’ morally and legally and yet he had to move out think about this illogical that he is living outside, while a woman and child neither of whom are any longer related to him by law or by blood, basically 2 strangers, live with his parents in fact this is not an ex-wife, they’re mot divorced — if the marriage is annulled, it never existed he can’t even go back home to see his own parents without seeing them
so this is, a v difficult position there’s nothing the court can do about htis this is not a matter of law their house, if htey want whoever to live with them, that’s up to them
they were opposed to the annullment and they do not see why they cannot just go on livng as they were, as a family unit. with grandparents, parents, child, the young ppl can get counseling to fix the marriage part but the family goes on as a family
society’s pov — best option to everyone — except the man — is where the marriage is concerned you get counselling to fix the mariage part, you’ll weather it, it’ll be like a case of adultery in marriage — ppl do forgive and survive — whats more this was before marrige there’s no evidence she has not be fiathful since marriage — people do survive this kind of thing
and at the same time, child is provided for and the child grows up in a ffamily where it has grandparetns and paretns all of whom (except the father maybe) loves it and the grands have the daughter in law and son andgrand child the wife has good in laws and a gd place to rasie the child (which is prob why she lied in the first place to get him to marry her)
unless she voluntarily moves out with the child but she can’t afford a hdb flat where is she going to go she’s not making enough money to cover herself and the child singapore makes it harder — v hard to be single mother in singapore — she is trying to get her own hdb flat and that’s v diff so as long as her in-laws still want her, she doesn’t want to move out eithre you could say, that’s hr problem, she got pregannt, she hsoldve got the guy who go ther pregnet to marry her etc she din get pregnant by herself, someone got her pregannt society’s pov, someone should be responsible fo the child — unfair to get this man to do it — well he loved or thought he loved her, he cares about the kid
she was filing for maintenance, not for herself but for her child even if it were a nullity case, 114 WC the court can st ill order maintenance depends on facts of the case you mightnot ge tmuch — in this case — becos o fth cild, socielty
it wasn’t my child in the first place, i got tricked into getting married, and now even though i got an annullment, i still have to pay for child maintenance umfair to the individual but its only soud from society view
now becos i’ve had the child in m he is in the right, legally and morally he married her on a false premise and he is entitled ot have it annulled and have nothign to do with her and thie child he is v hurt and v aggrieved i understand that and i am sympathetic jsut becos eveyrone is pre