where parsley and thyme was now stands a sandwich shop (the kind which calls itself a “shoppe”, each extra letter adding a dollar to the coffee price. this irritates me.) average as parsley had been the new place is a poorer replacement, and after an anaemic soup not even redeemed by its croutons and indifferent corned beef sandwich (topped with an unrunny egg and overwhelmed by lettuce — proportions ought be better observed in sandwich construction, though as someone whose attitude towards BLTs is modelled on sam vimes i speak with no moral credibility on the subject of sandwich proportionatlity) we retreat to highlander grumbling. julian hisses urgently as soon as we step in:“you’re making me look straight!”
“what?”
“that table, those are [lab’s] post-docs over there!”
“amateur. i could make you look straight forever right now just by doing one thing.”
[palpable apprehension]
“i just have to go up and order and then turn around and get you to hand me your wallet.”
“oh lord”
“actually, that might even make us look married…. how bamboozled would you like those post-docs to be?”
also the big news of the day is j putting down the deposit on his own apartment.“please tell me it’s not called d’ anything.”
“no, it’s called kentish court.”
“kentish? kent-ISH?! … as in, slightly like kent but not quite?”
“yes well i suppose it’s right next to kent road…
“but they couldn’t just call it kent court?
“actually it’s on oxford road.”
“i see. because oxford-ish court would sound so much worse. oxford-esque court. … or would that be court (oxon)?”
“look, if you’re fussy about condo names in singapore you’ll have nowhere to live!”
“you’ve got good taste right? can you help me with the interior decor?”
“of course i have good taste! what do you mean by the interrogative?
“ok i’ll start again. you have good taste (declarative.) can you help me with the interior decor?”
“i’m already working on the colour scheme.”
Best of the Transparent Hummingbird