Julian [sternly]: Woman! When you are late for lunch with me it disrupts my work!! You do realise I have a lot of work to do, don’t you?

Me [unrepentant]: Ah yes. Tagline: “Late women: Impeding the Progress of Science since 2010**.”

**Metanarrative:
J: Are you blogging about this?
Me: Yes. When was it you got your PhD?
J: 2010.
Me: Thank you. [types] Just trying to figure out how long I’ve been impeding the Progress of Science.
J: TOO LONG.

(To be fair I was only 20minutes late and I didn’t realise he thought we’d agreed on a meeting time. When people say “meet you at X time in Y place” I am by and large punctual even five minutes early but if we say “See you round about Xish?” I do interpret my “ishes” with great elasticity. Besides, I don’t think I could have set the progress of science back that much if this is all he did all morning:

Me: Can’t you cover it in cryptic scribbles and look professorial while I take a photo?
Julian: I’m not a physicist!!!